Bad Dreams starting up again ~*v*~ Angel Wolfe ~*v*~

I used to have bad dreams all the time... some about being chased, some about death and dying, but all of them scary and so real seeming that one bad dream can haunt me for weeks....For a while, I hadn't been having these kinds of dreams... but now here lately I've been getting them again.

Last Night I dreamt that my baby sister and her fiancee were in a car crash and they both died. I was at the funeral, she was in one casket on one side of the room, and He was in another casket on the other side of the room. I remember crying, and feeling pain, that seemed to pulsate within my heart. I remember feeling so guilty, because I never let her know how much I love her, and I never treated her nicely... (which in truth, i have, and I do.. often)

I would wake up... un nerved. and pace my apartment for a little bit, then try and go back to sleep... only to be sucked back into this nightmare, that seemed to be saying "no no, we aren't finished yet"

It was after the funeral, and my mother was in her home, seeming to be fighting some un seen person, knives were being thrown, vases, more knives... I was watching this all from above as if I were just an entity that happened to be there. Suddenly, my mother was throwing things at me and telling me to leave, somehow she had thought that I was the one who was causing the trouble.... I left, quickly, after that and hung around outside wondering what the heck that was all about...

I woke up again, got some water. Still half asleep I don't really think about what the dream may mean, all i know is that I'm anxious about it, and almost afraid.

When I go back to bed again, I'm once more sucked back into this surreal dream... funny thing is, I don't remember the rest of it.... I may have blocked it out, I just know that when I woke up for the day, I was terrified, and I called over to my mothers house to see if my sister and her fiancee were all right, and getting no answer I just drove over there, in tears and intent on not giving up until I've seen for myself that they are okay, and that my mother was okay.

They're okay.... On some level I knew that they would be.... I just couldnt seem to make myself calm down until it was confirmed in my brain. NOW.... it's about 3am, and I am afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid that it will start up again, and I'm afraid of what may happen in my dreams if it does pick up where it had left off. I get like this sometimes.... Afraid to sleep because if i sleep I'll dream.

Okay.. I thought I needed to share that for some reason... any input on it will be much appreciated...

I'm going to go try meditation now to see if it will help me relax enough to go to sleep...

*Angel Wolfe*

I don't know if it's changed my life, but I know it scared me pretty good.

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