An intresting day and a even intresting story...please read....

This morning I got up early, went and worked out, then went to the coffee shop and sat and read for a hour. I felt so good, the people at the Java City up the street from my work are nice, and there was this sweet old man sitting there while I was reading, he reminded me of my papa. He is getting ready to drive across the US to NC to see his 15th grandchild for christmas. I could see and feel so much love radiating from that man, it was amazing. I sat and thought to myself, that is what love is all about. I guess he goes there every morning. I am thinking I am going to make a point of going in there every morning to get a cup of coffee and just say hi to him. His wife died 5 yrs ago, and all his kids live on the east coast.

When I got in my car to go to work I started to cry because I miss my papa so much. And when that guy (James is his name) talked about his wife I could see the same fire in his eyes that I saw in my papa's when he talked about Grandma. He asked about me, asked how many kids I had, I told him none and he was very shocked by that. Why is everyone surprised that I do not have kids I don't get it. Oh well, I told him just a little bit about me and he asked what I was doing for the holidays, I guess he could see the look on my face because the first thing that popped into my mind was my papa and that this is the first christmas that I wont be with him, and not waking up to his breakfast in the morning while grandma is yelling at him in the kitchen to get out that he is getting the stove all greasy with all of the 'crap' that he puts in his potatoes. Then them standing there looking at each other and just start laughing, they may not have said it much, but you could see it in their eyes that they loved each other so much.

Unspoken love is so strong. So today sitting with this man James, I missed papa so much that I cried and now I am sitting at my desk crying. How is it that a emotion that is that feels so good, can hurt so bad. I guess that all just goes with life, love, hurt, love hurt. It seems to be a endless cycle that we go though, and no matter how bad the hurt before we keep going back for that love. I know I am just rambling on here. Just thought of my favorite christmas memory, Papa standing in the kitchen with grandma and I, papa was making his mess on the stove as grandma was giving him that evil eye of your messing up my kitchen and I have a 17lb turkey to put in the oven. (our kitchen was kinda small) I was sitting at the cutting board cutting veggies to put in the stuffing, this was the first year that grandma let me help her cook. Papa had pored a cup of coffee for himself and grandma said that she would like one. WEll their cups looked the same.

Christmas was the only day that papa would drink, and it was always his coffee and twaka . Grandma did not drink at all. Papa poured some of his twaka into his cup and turned away because the potatoes needed to be turned. Well grandma picked up her cup of coffee and was turning around to look at papa cuz he was saying something. This had to have been the funniest thing I had ever seen, grandma took the sip as papa turned around and grandma spit the coffee all over papa. She had picked up the wrong glass and got a good taste of booze. HAHAHHAH. Papa just stood there in shock of not knowing what to do. I sat there with my mouth open waiting for someone to say something, papa just started to laugh and so did grandma.

And for the first time in my life I saw them kiss. I remember sitting there just smiling and thinking to myself, when I grow up I want to be loved like that. The rest of that day, I saw them holding hands and giving each other the most loving looks. After dinner was in the oven we all sat down as a family for first and last time i can remember and ate breakfast together. I was very surprised because even grandma ate papa's greasy cooking, and that was a rare thing. haha...That was also the year that grandma decided that she was going to dye her hair a different color. It had always been red, but she wanted to do a darker red. Well she she came out of the bathroom all of our mouths hit the floor her hair was fire engine RED. Papa just told grandma, "Good way to get into the spirt Judy" We all just laughed, but I knew that grandma was looking for papas approval for the red to be ok, And when he said that grandma just laughed along with us. That holiday I realized what love was and what it was all about, 3 months later I met John. Funny how things just kinda happen when they do. Fate is a admirable yet miserable thing sometimes.

So what is your most memorable christmas???

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