a master peice!!! a only women poem

The journey through darkness and light
Copyright to MR m.r.m
By m.r.m
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A dark and lonely place in my heart, a place so cold and dreadful a place no human should go, a place I guard constantly so nobody can pass.
A ruin of pain and sorrow, a place where I store the hurt and the deadly sorrow, a place that reminds me of love, the memories scare me so, it taste like the sweetest of the fruits, but what lays within tastes like a lemon.
My heart is protected now by walls of steel, a steel so strong that it shall never break nor bend or even wither in the coldest of the winters.
Time changes you does it not? I remember a time when I faced the forces of love, when people were present it treated me ok, but at times it did not.
Eyes flashing, mouth wide, and the voice, kiss me.
BANG! BANG!! BANG! the dark place tried to open.
The voice, come on you know you want to, BANG! BANG!! BANG! again it tried to open but the doors to the dark side remained closed.
The smell of something came to me, the smell of pain I do not know.
Pressure building within me, not knowing what to do,
Finally I mustered up my strength and swallowed my aching heart deep within, nah I cant betray my self, no! No!! No!!! I said, toung pressing against my lips, sooner or later it gave up, being unpleasant towards me for the remainder of the day.
That day it used all its forces upon me, but what it didn’t realize that the match that it threw into my darkness to try to rekindle what used to be in my heart actually turned into iron locks and the strongest of chains instead.
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Where am I?
Why is it so dark and lonely where I am?
Why can’t I see? do I have eyes I ponder.
It is painful to not see, to not see the sun but to feel its warmth upon my skin can dive me insane, why cant the light touch my darkness? And let me see.
I feel as if I am locked away from the world in a box of darkness, I can not see my feet nor my hands, at times I hear voices coming from afar, not knowing or caring who they are.
Then one day I had a thought, or a feeling I needed to know, what’s on the other side of this dark box? Is it darker out there then here I started to ponder?
Then it started, my defiance against all, my own rebellious nature starting to form, hahaha I am going to see one day what is out there and further in the beyond.
Running away from the shadows that hold me down, that clench and hold tight onto my bright spirit, let me go and fly into the unknown I tried to scream at the shadows, but no words come out.
My spiritual power growing so wise and whole from the lessons I learnt from the dark ones, how fooled they were to believe that I was one of them, there dark energies only just grazed my bright light and spirit.
I was trapped, oh how trapped, in the dark ones realms, where demons dwell and where monsters are very real.
Manifesting my holy light in secret when the dark ones where busy or gone from sight, I grew stronger then them selves and not letting them know.
Then once again it was quite and calm in the land of dread and sorrow, the urge to saw into the unknown befell me once again, this time I was different, I could scream like a lion would for its prey.
Gathering my spiritual energy and power into one, slowly gaining height, then when I least suspected there evil unworthy hands grabbed unto me yet again,
Come back down they commanded me, you piece of scum they roared at me and pulled at me harder, then the unthinkable, I snapped with so much hatred and pain, my spirit it self transformed into what I most feared of all, I was one of the dark ones now, but with a lot more hatred then the others, snarling like a beast locked in a cage with no way-out.
I pulled harder to free my self from them, only to pull them with me, and then they would pull me with the same strength I used in the first place.
Screaming with rage from both my heart and spirit, I heard a soft voice, the voice? Where did it come from I do not know, powerful one listen to me, you cannot battle true darkness with darkness, huh? I thought out loud to my self as the dark ones pulled and pulled, confusing the dark ones that held me down.
I laughed out loud, laughing of cause, of cause,
Silence!!!!! The dark ones roared at me, hehehe I laughed as if I were insane, closing my eyes, searching inner as well as out for all the forces that are good, loving, and peaceful.
Opening my eyes, and screaming oh how blind I have been, the light, the light, it’s all in me!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!! I snapped again yet I was in total control, with my arms out stretched roaring even louder then the dark ones could dream.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! then it started, I exploded with a light so intense that it burnt the dark ones hands that held me down for so long,
My light, my light! the light getting brighter and brighter by the second, the light expending into the bottomless pit of the dark realms,
The light! I closed my eyes again to see not the darkness but such beautiful light, I willed and willed for all of the light in the universe to be my light, as I reopened my eyes again to see that my light has grown so much yet again,
Scattering the dark ones that tortured me, laughed at me, held me prisoner! hehehe I laughed, to know I had them in my control, I wanted now to be the torturer!, I wanted to rip them apart which now I could, but to see them flee like this was enough, I was free now to fly where I wanted to fly, I had a sense of glee in my heart,
With one thought of flying into the unknown I became a beam of light, moving so fast, moving faster, then when I saw the clouds above I knew then that I was free.
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Flying ever so fast, so many things to see and things to experience since now I am free,
Flying over the sea, watching the fish swim through the shiny green waters of the sea, seeing the dark clouds releasing its loads of lightning bolts and rain, flying very low between mountains then sawing off again, flying down grabbing a handful of grass and sawing into the clouds smelling the glass, what a thing!
But the thing I loved most of all, shone with so much love and light then all the rest, it was a rose.
When I looked at this rose shining in the sun I landed and came down for a closer look, shining ever so beautifully, my whole being was forced to pick it up, the smell rose from the pedals like the fragrances of the heavens, and at once, I willed to be one with it, to be something so peaceful so loving, so out of my mind! I willed to own it, to posses it, to be it!!!.
I thought that it was easy to fall in love with nature, because I felt that this small lonely thing called the rose was where all the essences of all beauty strives.
People want to be like nature, even though I have not meet my first human, I know what they want somehow, they want to posses its beauty as I did, but they want more as normal, they want its power! maybe for good reason but then maybe for bad,
But the beauty that is behind nature is irresponsive but beautiful never the least, come face to face with *true* living beauty, and your heart and mind shall bend across eons of time and space,
Why can I pick up the rose? why cant I move on?,
What is this stopping me?
Is it my mind? is it my heart? Or is it alla the above.
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I found the other side of the dark side, yet I feel so alien to this land, so alone, so much new pain for me to play with.
I found my light yet a great deal of dark power still to this day dwells deep within me,
When darkness finds light for its first time, I felt as if I was reborn, with a sense of bliss and happiness, but then it started, the cruelty begins, the burning pain deep within, laughing at me, teasing me, loathing me.
A small smile appears at the corner of my bottom lip, with the thought,
Am I the only one to feel this much pain in this land of love and bliss?
My goodness I lived with the dark ones for so long, oh for to long!
I started to think, how long can I remain in this light I was beginning to ponder, getting a little scared, but putting the thoughts out of my head.
I hide my self from those who dances from day to night in this land of bright light, hiding in any shadow that could bare my darkness, just watching, just learning, trying to learn just what love is.
I had a sudden thought that I was about to leave this land, but how I knew I do not know.
I was picked up by iron hands invisible to the naked eye, as if god him self was beginning to pull me out of this heavenly light,
I was falling now, back into the darkness to the darkest of hells, the screaming, the cry’s, the loneliness, and oh yes the pain!
The pain I feel is not what any people may thought it to be,
Its more or less, me cut off from the rest of the world, not knowing how to behave, but why can no one see my true self, if they only glance at me, then they shall see only my shell, my outer persona, the quite one, the wise one, the useless one, the lonely one.
But I thank the dark side, for protecting me, embracing me as it does.
For reminding me to not let my guard down, for the dangers of exposing my self to more darkness is very high.
I wish to dance with those in the light, to embrace me like they do you.
Hahaha what would they say though? when I walk out of the shadows and start my walk towards them?, would they look at me with the same eyes as him or her walking down the street or you, or would they clearly see what lays within my dark heart mind and my soul.
How the dark realms have changed since I have been here, how long has it been? the dark ones are no longer in control here or are they? I must confess I do not know,
I am happy to remain here for a while now, for I have friends here now,
That means that I can dance without the ones that dance in the light,
I do not know who they are, humans? Spirits? who knows, but the point is it is not just me who dwells in this dark and lonely realm.
There are now a lot of souls in this dark world, but they are blind to the truth for where they are they shall never know,
They will not open their eyes to see this dark world of sorrow and pain.
I had to intervene, I found one soul drifting endlessly, putting my hands on his shoulders, ahhh get away from me he screamed! oh how the dark memories of the dark ones plague my mind,
Your in my world I told him, and your eyes are closed, and please do not fear me, I am your friend, he settled down, I then asked him the fateful question, will you please open your eyes for me my dear friend,
As if it were magic, sparks of blue light shined in this creatures eyes.
And for an unknown reason he collapsed in my arms, and I felt his pain.
Why are you here in this dark and lonely place? I asked him,
He didn’t answer me; please tell me why I asked again,
All he did, was throw his arms around me, embracing me?? With pain?? How odd, he then cried and cried why! I couldn’t answer him, poor guy.
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I have been around awhile I believe, probley wasting time but who cares not I.
Why are you cruel? why do you have to hurt people? Why can’t you just leave them alone? but never mind hahaha for ill play with you my evil friends in the darkness that awaits you, forever ill torturer you, evil women beware I exist, evil men beware I exist, a demon I may be, a angel of mercy I am not,
Just remember I exist.
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Traveling the world for all time, traveling the seas and the land, searching for what I do not quite know, please tell me what I seek.
I believe im searching for death, when will he come to me and ease this pain of mine? come death I roar to the heavens and the night skies.
But then I start to ponder to my self; death is a truth is it not? Then let me know the truth of death.
Ah the answer has come my dear friends, I have died, and there is no death that is the truth.
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Memories are strange things aren’t they? you really try hard to remember the memories you like to remember, but the ones you wish that never happened you will never forget, I have a memory to, a memory of darkness before I was born!!!, oh how it haunts me, because in this memory I was conscious!!! And mature!
My childhood is a puzzle waiting to be put together,
What do you feel at the moment?
Say as you feel, for emotions can lead to being very beautiful.
But my emotions are of a rock, and I believe evil at times...yes...
I couldn’t feel anything for damm years, until it fell upon me, the key to my heart, oh how I wish now that I resisted the urge to turn that dam key but to late now I guess.
It struck like a lightning bolt to my heart, which ripped me apart, a feeling so strange I tried to fight it off, but I couldn’t and I wish I had though.
But at least those days have past and now that the shadows are back, smothercating my heart, in locks and chains so strong that I do not believe that god him self could rip them apart.
What about my heart? Want to know?
It’s a mega fortress of nightmares and demons,
Haunting my head, and dreams and I have to say bring it on!
But that is the spiritual world where I can be who I want to be,
Where I show I cannot control, and why I show in these places of pain and sorrow I do not know.
His my alter-ego its who I believe I truly am, but this damned world couldn’t handle him.
I haunt women’s dreams like they belong to me, taking them from behind then taking flight.
But now the days in the darkness is over, because I discovered on my own that light is much more powerful then the darkness.
Now I have progressed from being a night crawler, to now a day realm explorer, I still haunt the dreams of women though.
In a way I wish I was dead to emotion, cause the only things I feel is,
Fear, anger, kindness, and trust, please do not misinterpret my emotions, since I can’t really feel anything else just don’t try,
Basically all I want to do is live and die, and go on to the next life, which is where I can be my alter ego, the person behind my soul.
But now things are clear and understood, now the hardest thing to do now is just accept the way the world runs.
The people of the present day remind me of the many who drowned in the great flood back in the days of Noah.
The recent times have been a burden but things are looking up, its so hard for me to open my heart maybe in time the darkness that smothers my heart will drift away, allowing light to shine in my heart once again, but the question remains do I want to or not?
What is my heart like I ask my self again, it’s like a huge mountain of rock waiting in silence, not responding at all.
Ok it’s enough!! You really want to know what’s my heart is like; I hope you do not mind stepping into my head.
Come on a journey with me if you shall, into the very essence of my darkness, your heart is the gateway to emotions, so watch carefully so no mean spirits can sneak past.
Land upon my hard fortress of shields and walls, your welcome of cause, do not slip whatever you do, for thy shall continue to fall into an even darker place.
My inner heart is that of a black rose, glistening in mildew on winter days, but also light that is out of reach to me, ahhhh it is time are you ready?
Let me tell you how I feel, I am darkness and light in love, balancing my thoughts and my emotions.
Your free to hit me once but try again, you shall see my rage.
The darkness welcomes all, embracing you, comforting you, but it leads astray.
I feel as if I am a crow flying through the night, feeling the winds against my wings, flying so high through the clouds seeing the world from a view that you humans can not, with a full moon out and bright guiding me with its eternal light, im flying safely through out the night.
But the sun shall rise soon giving me time to rest, then I shall fly once again into the eternal moon light of the night.
Flight is beyond comprehension, but fun never the less.
Let me take your hand now and take you elsewhere.
Let me tell you a story about love.
I feel there was a death nearby but nobody knows, the death is very real to me, but it has no smell.
It’s the feeling of a dead heart, rotting away until I can find my key to my heart.
I need to heal my heart, but I do not know how, I feel like my love has just died, so I must to.
So I am going to the holy fire to do what I come to do, as I hear the flaming beast of hell, I feel no fear, fire and ash arising up high almost touching the sparkling sky.
AS I look down the fiery pit of hell, tears start flowing down my face, as thoughts of my life and love start to run through out my mind.
Enough!!!!! Im taking a leap of faith, ill tell you how we go.
As we fall do not let go of me, I alone shall burn you will not.
As fire passes, it burns my hair; as well it burns my chest.
I cant see anymore nor can I *feel*,
As I awake you shall still have my hand, as we walk through the realms of darkness and light.
Now let go of my hand fool and gaze into my eyes, can you see my pain?
Oh is that it, you want to know more.
Let my darkness embrace you, comfort you, let my passion be your passion, let our fire be one.
It is not just my heart that is covered by scars, but also my mind, and I blame you! but I also forgive you.
The day shall come when I am judged or not, and you to.
I shall continue to protect you and the weak; I am a warrior of justice.
The evil in both worlds of living and dead shall taste my blade.
I feel the pull of loneliness in the ocean, I know she wants me but I have resisted her for all this time and I will for all time.
Being in love can change a person, but finding love then losing it can have changes upon you as well, it can break you or make you stronger.
I tend to look upon life as cat and mouse.
I! Am death-blade your nightmare getaway, fear not hurt ones, for you shall get rewarded, and you will never be alone, for anyone who drifts in the realms of pain, ill be there searching for the souls that drift the endless darkness, the beings who have a identity flaw.
Lets all embrace each other and enjoy each other, and clam our pains.
Some use force, others use words, why not use your minds instead, cause if humankind does not act one day the human race shall slither away.
Where am I???
Yes your still here, your hand is cold shall we go? Or do you like my pain?
But to where I do not know for I cant see in this land of darkness and pain.
Why can’t I see I wonder? I feel like I am rotting away, time seems fast,
I can’t move now, I feel old, dieing maybe, wait!
This is not my pain it is yours, do not fear it, for when it happens the first thing you shall see is the face of your dear angel.
Lets go else where ok, to where I love to go,
You see the storm in the distance holding my hand, and then you came closer to me.
Rain falling like a timeless and endless river, as wind blows upon us you shiver and I wrap my dark cloak around you, the cold winds reminds me of my hard days and sadness each time I wake.
The waters of time swell reflecting our picture, and my emotions.
Feeling like a prisoner, I feel as if I have lost something but do not know what it is.
The hands of death approach us, waiting in silence you weep on my shoulder.
I whisper close to your ear, the storm that comes symbolizes love drifting to
Each and every soul a few times.
The love is at first gentle then it turns wild, just like a storm.
You reach for the sky and scream why!
The shadows surround us starting at our feet, then our chest, surrounding our hearts in deep darkness.
As the darkness covers our faces, we bow our heads as the rains pour down.
As we walk away from the shore, as well as walking away from the storm as well as walking away from love it self for a while.
You brake free of me, spinning around to face the stormy sea's, screaming to the storm, im heart shall heal one day! as I take your hand again and walk you into the darkness and vanish...
. The end.

By M.R.M
thank you all for reading this.