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The End

  Author:  55040  Category:(General Advice) Created:(12/17/2002 1:50:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1041 times)

Hey. I need some serious help. For the past week and a half, I've been steadily falling deeper and deeper into depression. I have tried to be happy, God knows I've tried to make others feel better, and I cant do it anymore. It starts with the little things. Next week, Im leaving for my dads, leaving all of my friends, even if it is only for a week. I love my dad, but we have had bad experiences in the past, and every time i go to see him, these resurface into my mind. My family is having money problems right around Christmas. My parents are yelling at me, for stupid things, then guilting me for drifting away from them. I want solitude, and i never, ever, get it (even though thats probably one of the main factors keeping me alive right now). My friends, all, are going through bad times, and that grates on me. My dad injured himself, my grandfather lost his job (and he helps to support my family a lot), School is grating on me. Im in a relationship right now, and its grating on me. I'm relatively new to relationships, and have strong insecurities, and its getting to me. I don't want to end this relationship, because i really really like the girl who im going out with, but i know she doesnt feel the same way for me. Then today at school, everything just started building up. People were being stupid, agitating in first hour. People kept touching me, bumping into me, at lunch. People kept making wise cracks, and i had to restrain myself from going insane and just beating the living you know what out of them. Then, after school, my g/f said she didnt want to do anything (no kissing, ect.) for 3 weeks. Now this doesnt bother me, she had very good reasons, but it was kind of a slap in the face. It was like her saying "you make me uncomfortable, and i dont like this relationship". And i dont want her to feel like that. Yet I dont want to lose her either. This kind of sent it all crashing home. Now let me get to the point of all this.

I'm so depressed right now, I dont know what to do. I have to hide it from everyone, be happy for everyone, but what i really want to do is sit on my bed, cry (alone) and kill myself. This is the only thing i can think of. Its eating me away. I want to slit my wrists and end it all. Im losing it, and I have absolutely no one to talk to. And i know my friends will read this post, and get upset over it, but right now, i dont care. I need some help. Please reply, If i havent scared you off, or if you havent left already because of the length.

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Replies:      
Date: 12/17/2002 1:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 14754    please go seek help..there are so many different types of medicine out there that can help you...and you will feel so much better...call a Dr. TODAY...right now..youre not alone on this..hang in there.  
Date: 12/17/2002 1:59:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 55040    I couldnt tweeti, and let my parents know? I've hid all of this from them for so long, and just to come out and say it. No Nick is supposed to be the strong one. If i did that, actually admitted it to them, i would never forgive myself.  
Date: 12/17/2002 2:18:00 PM  From Authorid: 58022    Wouldn't your parents help if they knew what you're going through? I think you really should tell them because they're obviously oblivious to what's going on with you and they can help. Or you could go to a school counselor if you think your parents really would not be supportive. I know-the thought of school counselors can really freak someone out (does to me), but they're really not that bad and they can help.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 59746    Aaaawwww, End. I don't really know what I could tell you to make things better, but just hold on. Pray to God. Things will get better soon, you just have to hold on and believe.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 59746    I'm here if you need me. You can talk to me anytime we're here. You can message me about it, or e-mail me at: [email protected]

Things will get better.
  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 47218    This is serious depression and you need professional help for it. Seeking help is not weak. A truly strong person knows when to get help for their problems. You are screaming for it. You shouldn't be afraid of telling your parents. Your parents would not be ashamed of your depression, they would not be angry at you for trying to conceal it, they would feel anguish for your suffering and would want to make sure that you get treatment for it as soon as possible. What a parent wants more than anything for their children is for them to be happy and healthy. If you feel really uncomfortable about breaking the ice with your parents on this subject, you should try talking to a counselor at school first.  
Date: 12/17/2002 6:00:00 PM  From Authorid: 55297    talk to a counseller or call: 1-800-999-9999 they help with everything. the first step to getting help is realizing u have a problem. and you have. the second step is telling someone!!! and the third is getting help! you have accoplished the first step, now do the second and third! if i could, you can. my e-mail is: [email protected] if u wanna private talk. hang in there.  
Date: 12/18/2002 10:05:00 AM  From Authorid: 46139    Ahhhhhhhhhh,if you have read the title of most of
these post you would realize that you are not alone.
Around this time of the year people tend to fill
the way you do...I know I have like doing that myself
sometime but there is a difference between thinking
about it and acting on it;you see a weak minded person
would act on it but a strong minded person would
think about the consequences of there actions realize
that there trouble's are only temporary dill with
them head on and move on...beside's how with you
killing yourself help anybody out if anything it
would just put them in an even bigger financial
bind topped off with more grief(sorry didn't mean
to apear insensitive and be so blunt.)The bottom
line is things will get greater later wait it out
and you'll see...oh and as for your girfriend stop
woundering about how she fill's about you and ask
her;if she want's to end the relationship then let
her do so but at lease you'll know the truth you
both will have some closer and you can begin a new
relationship and hopefully this time your feelings
for each other will be mutual instead of one sided.
  
Date: 12/20/2002 11:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 58975    hun...please WHATEVA YOU DO DONT HURT YOUR SELF!!! Please even if its just to keep me from crying!!! Every one at USM is like family to me...even if i dont know ya at all...your still family!!! and if you need to talk to any one i will talk to you ABOUT ANYTHING!! and us females can be funny...you g/f might feel like shes getting to serious to fast...and is trying to back off a little bit. if thats the case let her back off slightly...but not to much that you lose her. Also...your not the only one that sometimes feel like you have to choose between your mom and dad...i can talk to you about that because i am going through the same thing...so just ask me about anything in that area! and once more my family is having money problems aswell, but thats because my moms hours have been cut lately. But every one else around is helping us get through that. So hun(i call every one hun) dont doing anything you cant regret...and you know what i mean by that too....there are tons of people on USM that will talk to you and help you work through this...you dont have to go through it alone. and just tell your parents that you needs some "time off" explain that your not feeling like yourself and their guilt trips arent halping. They will understand and give you some room. but like i said...even if its just to keep me from crying dont hurt your self *huggles and kissles*  

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