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ACTUAL MEDICAL RECORDS --PaddingtonBear--

  Author:  23075  Category:(Humor) Created:(1/26/2002 9:14:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1164 times)

1. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

4. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

7. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, he stands with the help of his wife, they shuld fall to the floor.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly, she also appears to be depressed.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. the patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Smith to dispose of him.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. The patient refused an autopsy.

13. The patient expiredon the floor uneventfully.

14. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

15. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

16. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs wentin separate directionsin early December.

17. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with pictureof acute pulmonary edema at home while having s*x which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

18. The patient had waffles for breakfast and amorexia for lunch.

19. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.

20. Skin: somewhate pale but present.

21. Admitted in error.

22. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt that we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

23. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

24. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 1/26/2002 9:22:00 PM  From Authorid: 15997    LOL!!! that was funny thanks for sharing.  
Date: 1/26/2002 9:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 28193    LOL!!!These are great! Thanks for sharing them.~Golden Taxi.  
Date: 1/26/2002 9:24:00 PM  From Authorid: 49101    LMAO This Was hilarious thanx for sharing! MissC.  
Date: 1/26/2002 9:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 33978    TEE HEE! I enjoyed those! Thanks! ***Seaprincess  
Date: 1/26/2002 9:32:00 PM  From Authorid: 24003    LMAO!! I love these!!  
Date: 1/26/2002 10:03:00 PM  From Authorid: 31900    lmao!! i can't beleive thy actually write that stuf down!!  
Date: 1/26/2002 10:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 11348    lol!! After a bad night this helped a lot. Very funny. Thanks for sharing these.   
Date: 1/26/2002 11:52:00 PM  From Authorid: 49277    lmaf  
Date: 1/27/2002 3:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 23828    LOL these are sooooo funny
  

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