Two embarrassing Moments

"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled ''SURPRISE!'' My entire family ; aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins ; and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, noone in my family has planned a surprise party ________________________________________________________________________________ "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, ''If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'' The silence was as deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.